Friday, October 9, 2015

Pan & Hail, Caesar!

Hugh Jackman stars as the pirate Blackbeard.
Pan was so bad, I nearly fell asleep during the film. Granted, I went into the film with a bad attitude; by the time the trailers were over, I actually couldn't remember what film I was there to see. However, I'm not the only one: it has only a 22% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, so I'm actually in the majority this time. Hugh Jackman was good; the boy playing Pan was a good actor; Rooney Mara was not properly cast as Tiger Lily: she's a good actress, but this wasn't a role for her and she shouldn't have been in it. Garret Hudland plays Hook and he was awful (which probably isn't his fault, but the director's). There was a significant portion of the film--especially in the first twenty minutes--that I couldn't understand a single word being said; it got better as the film went on, or, I should say, it wasn't as bad as the film went on. There were some special effects which were good; the fight choreography between Tiger Lily and Blackbeard, however, was so bad, it looked like the actors were filmed independently, on two different sets and then it was spliced together, it was so awkward. And I'm just getting started. Ugh. Okay, here is the first trailer for Hail, Caesar! Normally, I wouldn't be particularly interested in a film like this, however, this is from the Coen Brothers, and they know exactly what they are doing: Josh Brolin portrays Eddie Mannix, a vice president of MGM who was known as a "fixer" of problems stars were having so their sordid private lives didn't smudge their on-screen personas:
Tilda Swinton portrays gossip columnist Hedda Harper (if you don't know who she actually was, but you have seen Sunset Boulevard, she's the newspaper woman at the end, calling in her story from Norma's bedroom). It's easy to spot Scarlett Johanssen as Esther Williams and Gene Kelly being played by Channing Tatum; David Krumholtz is being credited for playing "communist screenwriter" who may or may not be based on Dalton Trumbo (my guess is that it is: knowing Hollywood was making a movie about him, which the Coen Brothers surely did, they would have wanted to get in their perspective on his career as well). The film comes out February 6, 2016. Oh, by the way, if you haven't seen Ant-Man yet, Marvel has announced the sequel will be Ant-Man and the Wasp, so that means, when you do see it (because I know you are going to see it,... right?) there are 2 (two) end credit scenes, one with Captain America, and the other with Hank Pym and that's where you find out who "The Wasp" is,... will be. So, to make a long story even longer, don't waste your money seeing Pan, it was terribly anti-capitalist and anti-Catholic to boot,
Eat Your Art Out,
The Fine Art Diner