Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Apocalypse 2012: Obama and the 3 Musketeers

Whenever a Queen of France and a diamond necklace are connected to the possibility of scandal, revolution or disaster in general, one must first look to the affair of the Diamond Necklace involving the then Queen of France Marie Antoinette. Suspected of purchasing a grossly expensive necklace as France languished under debt and famine, the rumor of it was a trigger for the French Revolution. In Paul Anderson's box office bomb The Three Musketeers we find the reason it probably bombed: it's pro-Obama administration, placing an elaborate plan for taking power at the doorstep of Republicans.
The continual remaking of  Alexandre Dumas' 1844 novel The Three Musketeers provides cultural historians with valuable tools and clues as versions are made and re-made. Remember, a history film is never ever about history, it is always about today, and whatever Dumas intended in 1844 is radically different from what film maker's twist the plot to mean now. It is perhaps more fruitful to compare the 2011 version to the The Three Musketeers of 1973 version because a significant change takes place. In 1973, French Queen Anne was having an affair with Lord Buckingham of England, and gave him a diamond studded necklace as a token of her love. Buckingham willingly gives up the necklace to the Musketeers to save the queen whom he loves; in 2011, however, Queen Anne is steadfastly devoted to the foppish and clownish King of France, King Louis XIII.
What of the necklace? 
Being devoted to the King, Anne discovers that the necklace has been stolen and she's being framed by the power-hungry Cardinal. What does all this mean? Obama, as the President, is represented by King Louis, and the great country of America is Anne who is devoted to the King, respectful of him and in love with him; the King, however, is a bit unsure of himself and just doesn't know how to act around Anne although he loves her dearly and doesn't believe this terrible insinuation that she's being unfaithful to him (read: the latest numbers in the poll don't favor his re-election). 
A surprising characteristic of the King tells all: color. King Louis is obsessed with "what color" the fashionable Lord Buckingham is wearing and that obsession with "color"translates as an obsession with his "own color." What is so silly are the ploys they attempt to utilize to demonstrate that the King is honest, although stupid: he's playing chess with the cardinal and, upset that the cardinal is so calculating, the King swipes all the pieces off, making an idiot of himself, but showing, supposedly, that he's not a power-hungry calculator like the cardinal who wears red (red for the Republican party) and who is using a spy to frame the Queen.
Who is the spy?
Milla Jovovich who plays Milady de Winter.
Symbolically, since she's a double agent, it would be those dastardly Democrats who have switched parties and are making the King look bad because they have a "better offer" from the Republicans, and don't care about anything except themselves. And who are the Musketeers? The liberal media, of course, the film makers themselves. They claim that they have become obsolete, probably since they think it was so easy to get Obama elected, but now, they are giving themselves to the great cause of retrieving the necklace (the confidence of the King, normal, steady relations, etc.) so harmony will rule and there will "be no more war."
How the liberal media sees itself.
There is a "coming apocalypse" which clearly refers to the election of November 2012, because "they are surrounded by enemies." They certainly talk about a "new beginning" a lot, so that must be a "new beginning to the new beginning" that the Obama Administration was supposed to symbolize and... is going to make a "new beginning" if the apocalypse can be avoided. Even in the trailer, Queen Anne asks the Musketeers, were you up against "40 or 400?" "40, it was an off day," he replies, and that's how the liberal media sees the great battle they are fighting against all the conservatives who won't listen to them and trust that they can make the right decisions for the country...
And his Lordship, the Duke of Buckingham?
Those awful rich people who won't give their money to the Occupy Wall Street movement. The "flying ships" that are half-way between sailing ships and blimps symbolize the "ship of state" and how it's all just "full of hot air." It's the two powerful anti-King factions that are negotiating a peace treaty (the Republicans and the rich, but aren't they in league together?... oh, oh, I think we have a contradiction) but what is the king doing during the negotiating? Changing his wardrobe. But it doesn't matter, this is who they want to support. The movie is something that you will probably enjoy on DVD but Rotten Tomatoes reviews it at 24% rotten and now you know why.